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Decisions, Decisions…


Ajahn Brahm (You can Google him up if you want, he’s a cool Theravada monk from Perth, Australia) once said in one of his teaching sessions that there’s no such things as bad decisions or wrong decisions. A Buddhist (or at least people who believe in reincarnation like yours truly) can be born again, so you can get your decision right in your next life. That is simple, why worry about making bad decisions. Later in that very session, he said something similar to this, “A decision is never wrong when it’s made out of a well mind”.

I was editing my photos on my second to last night in Bangkok in a dorm shared with 4 other females (one of them was an Australian which I had dinner with). I was somewhat frustrated to the quality of the Floating Market photos that I took earlier that day. And bang, suddenly that very Ajahn Brahm’s teaching about how to make a decision appeared in my mind, right down to his Australian/British accents

Bridge 045 editted.

The Bangkok trip was planned 35 hours before the ETD. Despite what my girlfriends and fiance told me (not to go), I walked down to the ATM to pay my plane ticket (expensive despite using the budget airline mind you), paid the daily tour packages with my paypal, and told my fiance and girlfriends to go some place else and mind anyone’s business but mine. (Oh usually as a very-well-planned-traveler-it-annoys-my-fiance-and-my-family-so-much I book ticket and hotels way ahead of the travel date and I have a not-so-firm itinerary so I can wander around the village/the city I’m in)

Was I in my well mind? No. I was not. I was mad and I was upset and I had not slept for days and all I could think of was whether or not I had a photo assignment, I had to travel. Then Bangkok came to mind. Why Bangkok, you asked? No idea. I had no idea why I decided to fly to Bangkok (but maybe the cheap living cost there was the main idea).

Before flying to Bangkok there were lots of yelling to friends and fiance (see above). I told them I wanted an adventure hence the back-packing with a very heavy Nikon camera and 2 lenses. Out of his worry, the fiance booked me a room in a 4-star hotel. That also produced another series of screaming (especially from HIS SIDE after buying the room for 3 nights for me and knowing that I stayed in Bangkok for way more than 3 nights). One of the girlfriends offered to accompany me in Bangkok several days after my arrival, but I didn’t want to have any of that.

I flew to Bangkok, alone. Traveling with little cash and a debit card (I didn’t want to shop I just wanted to take photos anyways, right?) and a pledge not to spend more than USD 12 per day for meal. I promised those 3 people that I would keep in touch, so I had no choice but spending almost 500 THB for phone and Blackberry Service.

I didn’t say it’s not fun. It’s totally the opposite of not fun. The trip had 91% fun and 9% un-coolness (and thank God, I got a photo assignment once I was there). But that very night in my hostel room when suddenly Ajahn Bhram’s voice appeared in my head, I knew the decision of traveling to Bangkok was not a good decision. It was an impulsive decision that has led me to an adventure (just like what I had expected before), but not a safe one.

Next time (at least later when I’m born again), I’ll make better adventures and better decisions.

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44 reasons why I love my fiance


I asked my fiancé what present he wanted for his 44th birthday present. He couldn’t think of any. So we kinda make a discussion if I can find the list of 44 things about him. Let’s do it now!

Below is the 44 reasons why I love him (in random order) :
1. He has the loveliest green eyes
2. He is a genius
3. He knows the history of indonesia so well
4. He sucks at lying and ends up making fake excuses and lame names such as United Clean Sand organization
5. He’s funny – 3 stooges funny
6. He has a sexy morning voice when answering my daily wake up call
7. He sings rawhide much better and funnier than one in Blues brother
8. He has a pepsodent smile
9. He sends me flowers
10. He bought me an Ipod for no reason
11. He works really hard to make me happy
12. He likes dogs
13. He likes mountain climbing and hiking
14. He doesn’t mind that I don’t dive
15. He bought me a camera for my birthday
16. He has so many shoes
17. He tells great story
18. He doesn’t mind having more than one wedding reception
19. He likes to wake up late so I can have my morning yoga session undisturbed during holiday
20. He bought me a new ipod after the first one is broken
21. He jumps off the plane – parachuting
22. He creates a rhyming nicknames for me
23. He made the first approach
24. He stands by me
25. He always calls our immigration lawyer right after his payday
26. He doesn’t realize that I snore
27. He’s a great kisser
28. He gets along well with parents
29. He thinks all my pictures are cute and my songs are pretty. I think he’s lying but I love him for trying
30. He’s a great analyst
31. He’s a great athlete
32. He bought me a nicer camera after my boss ruined the first one
33. He encourages me to try new things
34. He’s so patient
35. His idea of being pampered is me plucking out his facial hair
36. He prays every night for me
37. He always gives me clues that I should have a cooler gadget (iPad, kindle) although I’m not a gadget freak
38. He appreciates classier things in life (yes, classier means expensive)
39. He’s a generous guy
40. He says thanks to strangers
41. He’s open to new ideas
42. He likes to give me pop quiz about him
43. He trusts me blindly
44. He loves me -an uptown girl- just the way I am

Happy birthday baby bear! Mwah

 
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Posted by on December 28, 2011 in Dating & its nitty gritty, List of things

 

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BASIA’s Go For You (& losing bet to yourself)


(Lyrics are available below. But here is my two cents about falling in and out of love.)

Relationship goes wrong. After all the madness, the fights, the dramas, the puffy eyes, we bet ourselves not to give our hearts (and mind and soul) to someone else. To fall in love is like a nostalgia. Let’s just (put our bad habit here) like crazy until we can forget his/her phone numbers.

Life is back to normal when we can pass 3 days in a row not thinking about our bad habit (FYI : I was abroad and I didn’t have a will for 3 days in a row to shop). Life’s good. We survive major heartbreak. We’re survivors!

Then a someone new comes in our way.

We can’t tell which one of these elements tell the other two (mind tells heart and soul?) that this someone is so nice that we don’t mind spending more time with this person, he/she looks so cute, etc (we all know the standard operation procedure is, right?). We’re about to lose the bet. Or are we?

It’s your call.
In my case, I lost the bet.

Now let’s sing.

(Lyrics)

I’m through with love
It’s only a madness
I’m finished with this
This moment was never my joy
Who needs a heart break?
Don’t want anybody to call my own

But when you’re near
The sweetest sensation
Takes over my heart
I feel like I’m losing control
These moments of weakness
Allow me a glimpse of heaven

But I’ve been so strong
Can it be true
It’s like a mystery too soulful
For you broke my resolve
Now I’m fighting I try
but I cannot deny
that I could really go for you
I’m looking for clues
What else to do
I take leave of my senses
Give back all defenses
I have to comply
Can no longer deny
That I could really go for you

It could be so good
I’m wishing anew
oh why should I resent
something I’ve always missed?

What’s the point in my pride
if I cannot deny that I could really
go for you
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Posted by on April 24, 2011 in Dating & its nitty gritty, Music

 

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Snail Mail and us


Hm, I really can’t remember when was the last time I received a hand-written letter via snail mail and I can’t remember when the last time I sent one was.

But I remember the last postcard I received. It was just days before Christmas last year and it has a picturesque view of Volcan de Fuego of Guetamala on it. That postcard took almost 2 months to arrive. The sender – my fiancé- had been already back home when I got it.

Postcard from Guatemala

I also remember the last postcard I sent out to my fiancé. I sent it a few weeks back from a pretty busy post office in Singapore. The postcard has a picture of some Buddhist temple at the Chinatown on it. I wrote “In Singapore on this weekend” on the top of my usual “wish you were here, Baby” there. I didn’t seal that postcard with a kiss though. It would’ve looked so weird in front of those post office people if I’ve done that.

Yes, we’re one of the rare couples who still send snail mail to each other.

You see, there are thousands of miles separating us and we live by the Long Distance Relationship golden rule: Communication is the grand-daddy of any relationship. So we talk on the phone a lot when we’re at home (by ‘home’, I mean he’s there at his and I’m at mine), text a lot (thanks to the nerds who invent BlackBerry Messenger), send postcards when we’re travelling and send mushy Hallmark greeting cards celebrating our important days.

Sending postcards is not popular these days. More than once, I’ve gotten this strange look from my friends who happen to be with me in a bookstore overseas. “Postcard, really? Why don’t you just send emails from that smart phone of yours?” is a question I’ve heard too many times. And believe it or not, unlike bookstores here, not every bookstore sells postcards in most Asian countries. I have to spend some good time browsing for places that sell them. I usually have to go to those tiny book stores at the train station or at the airports.

Last October when I was in Bali, I was too busy taking pictures to send him a postcard. I sent him by email my photo of picturesque view of Balinese paddy field and wrote that I took great photos that day. He seemed to be okay with it and I thought I had found a perfect way to still send him “postcards” online.
But then came December, a postman hand-delivered my fiancé’s postcard from Guatemala to my office. Oh, to hold that piece of postcard that was once carefully picked out, carefully written, and lovingly sent by my fiancé I made a promise to myself to always send him snail mail when I was away.

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Posted by on April 12, 2011 in Dating & its nitty gritty

 

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where’s my bouquet?


Roses are pink my love

It’s a week after Valentine’s day.
Check out whatever happens to your bouquet your husband/fiancé/boyfriend/lover gave you.
Have the red roses turned to withered maroon? The white roses turned to a sick yellowish ones and you plan to throw them away tomorrow? Or are you the ones who really takes care of the bouquet that it can last until 10 days maybe more and then you’ll sophisticatedly dry them?

Unlike my siblings who are really into gardening who can have fresh flowers every day for their house, I only love flowers when it comes to receiving a bouquet. Whether it’s from my fiancé who sends me flowers on birthday and Valentine’s day or from my co-worker who tries to say he’s sorry or from my boss who gives me a bouquet just because, I will instantly feel like I’m floating on air. When I receive this bouquet, I put water inside the crystal vase and put it in my bedroom. On tables where I can see them instantly once I open my eyes in the morning. It will be dried naturally inside the vase too. It’s a nice decoration for my bedroom, these naturally dried flowers. I keep them right there until I get new bouquet that will require the space of that crystal vase.

Why does a bouquet of flowers (may it be roses, carnations, lilies, or daisies) always instantly boosts my mood? I don’t know if there is a chemical or scientific explanation on that (like endorphin release when one eats chocolate), but I think receiving flowers makes me feel that I’m being appreciated.
Knowing that there’s a man who does a little extra mile to remember me, take a little time to choose the bouquet and have it delivered to me,
Knowing that there’s a man who says sorry for being too busy and suddenly remembers that I love certain flowers,
Knowing that there’s a man who though miles away is missing me heaps
For me receiving flowers is a major display affection from someone in a very subtle way.

And believe me, it’s not only me. No matter how cold a woman is, she’ll love receiving flowers.
So, you lads, if you haven’t given her flowers last week for Valentine’s day, today is a great day to do that..
“Happy a week after Valentine’s day, love” will do.

 
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Posted by on February 21, 2011 in Dating & its nitty gritty

 

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