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Category Archives: Family

If I Could Meet a Family Member Who Has Passed


If I could speak to one family member who has passed on, I would pick my paternal grandmother.

I don’t know anybody from my paternal side except my dad. So meeting her might add some information about my background and my root. I am very curious about her since my dad told me over and over that I looked like his mother, has a sharp-tongue like her and acted like her as well. Oh, that all and the fact that she came into my mom’s dream and named me right there and then.

I’d ask her how did she raise my dad being a single mother in the early 1930’s. How he could grow up into a humanist, not caring about one’s religion. I would also like to ask her how she could practice the spiritual belief along with her religion in her days.

Meeting her will definitely be the highlight of this lifetime. Looking forward to it!

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Posted by on June 27, 2011 in Family

 

Love Is A Many Splendored Thing


Love is a many-splendored thing,


Love is a many-splendored thing,
It’s the April rose that only grows in the early spring,
Love is nature’s way of giving a reason to be living,
The golden crown that makes a man a king.

Once on a high and windy hill,
In the morning mist two lovers kissed and the world stood still,
Then your fingers touched my silent heart and taught it how to sing,
Yes, true love’s a many-splendored thing.

This song popped into my head while driving this morning. This takes me back to a day in the mid-90’s.

My dad played this song and hummed this continuously I thought I’d go crazy. What is “splendored”, anyway? It sounded like a made-up word.
Not long after that my brother with his baritone/tenor voice sang this song be-a-u-ti-ful-ly. He kept singing this song at home, in the car while driving me to school, and in parties (where he voluntarily performed). For years I’d disliked this song.

When this song popped into my head this morning though, I see the beauty of this song and smile for the memory of that day in mid 90s.

Love, after all, is a many splendored thing.

 
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Posted by on May 29, 2011 in Family, Music

 

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Letter to my son


Dear Son,    

What’s your name, son?
Are you another Robert like your dad and your granddad? Or did we name you something else?
I once wanted to name my son Abimanyu, Bim for short. Abimanyu is a son of the Hindu God, a brave warrior. Your grandma didn’t approve the name because the real Abimanyu died in a battlefield, and who would want his son to tragically die in a battlefield? I guess if you’re not an Abimanyu, that’s because of your grandma. That or I lost in a bet with your dad and he got to name you Robert or other western names.

As I’m writing this letter to you, I am yet married to your dad. But I’m engaged to your dad and we plan to get married next year.
We both agree not to have child too soon after the wedding. We need time to enjoy each other’s company, just the two of us. We need to do that after more than 3 years courting via email and phone only. Your dad would want us to travel some more and I may want to go to get my bachelor degree in English or Photography.
By the time we’d decide that we’re ready to have a child, it might be in the year 2014.
I would be much older than now and so would your dad. Maybe by that time we also think that we’re too old to have a child and despite how your dad loves kids, we have agreed to just let go the offspring issue. But, what the heck, if you read this letter then it means I have a kid, maybe 2.

A few weeks back, when discussing about soccer in the World Cup, your dad wants to have a kid who plays soccer. Any. Not only son, but he wants his daughter to play soccer. I had a slight objection of having a daughter who plays soccer (although I did play soccer when I was in college), but I support his idea of having a soccer player boy. We dream that you would be a soccer player who would help your country wins the World Cup. Your name would be written in the history. It’s fun to have a dream like that.

I don’t know if your dad has a same dream and expectation from you. I know he wants some great combination of brain and muscle, but I also expect you to have some musicality ability. Maybe piano so you can play and I can sing. Even better get you a vocal coach so we can sing a duet. Or some other artsy thing. Maybe you also inherit your granddad and your uncle talents in painting; maybe we share a passion in writing or taking good pictures. I expect you to be an outgoing and popular student at school. But all of those are really not my biggest expectation from you. My biggest expectation from you is you to be healthy and happy.

A friend of mine told me that it won’t be easy being a parent. It’s true. I’ve watched my parents raising me and your aunts and uncles. I learn a lesson or two from watching them. There are moments I’m sure that you’re going to hate me, especially in your teenage years. You wouldn’t want to drive me to places; you’re so popular you would want to spend all those times with your buddies. You wouldn’t want to take Chemistry class; you want to take more of social studies instead. You don’t want to be seen with me. The list would be endless. You might despise those days, but I want to remember those days forever. Those would be the days that I would really have you as my little boy.

I would let you go during your college years, and you’d be on your own.
You’d be in your adult life and I would no longer tell you what to and what not to do.
Whether you would be single or married or divorced after that, whether you’re gay or straight, whether you make good money or not, I would still be proud of you just as long as you live your life like my biggest expectation : healthy and happy.

I somehow know you’d grow up into a daddy’s boy. You would spend hours with him and your dad would tell you the stories of his younger years. If you can endure the long hours, he’d tell you his days when he was still a sergeant or even younger. How he gets a real great experience living overseas serving for his country. How he jumped off the plane and had his nose broken for many times. You would laugh along with him and before you know it you might even be inspired to be a soldier, being a brave warrior like Abimanyu.

I should be worried.
It’s a mother’s job to be worried. But the other job mothers have is to love the kids unconditionally.
Don’t worry about me Son, be a soldier if that’s what you do.
And don’t forget to aim for the moon; if you miss you may hit a star.

Always yours,

 
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Posted by on July 14, 2010 in Family

 

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Letter to my daughter


Dear my daughter,

Is your name Jackie? I always admire Jacqueline Kennedy so I once made a promise to myself to name a girl Jacqueline or Jackie.
That promise was made when I was very young, maybe 7 or 8 years old. I was young enough to simply think that having a daughter means I can buy her dolls and Legos and all the things I didn’t have. But as I grew older, I said to myself that I don’t think I’d lose something if I don’t have you (or any kids by all mean).

As I’m writing this letter to you, I am yet married to your dad. But I’m engaged to your dad and we plan to get married next year.
We both agree not to have child too soon after the wedding. We need time to enjoy each other’s company, just the two of us. We need to do that after more than 3 years courting via email and phone only. Your dad would want us to travel some more and I may want to go to get my bachelor degree in English or Photography.
By the time we’d decide that we’re ready to have a child, it might be in the year 2014.
I would be much older than now and so would your dad. Maybe by that time we also think that we’re too old to have a child and despite how your dad loves kids, we have agreed to just let go the offspring issue. But, what the heck, if you read this letter then it means I have a daughter, maybe 2.

A few weeks back, when discussing about soccer in the World Cup, your dad wants to have a kid who plays soccer. Any kid not only son, but he wants his daughter to play soccer. I rolled my eyes and “negotiated” ‘how about a tennis player for the girl and soccer player for the boy?”
I expected you to be a sporty girl (like your dad) who loves to dress up (like a Jackie Kennedy) outside the court. I hope you grow up to be a smart kid with a great musical ability. Maybe you also inherit your granddad and your uncle talents in painting, maybe we share a passion in writing or taking good pictures. I expect you to be an outgoing and popular student at school. But all of those are really not my biggest expectation from you. My biggest expectation from you is you to be healthy and happy.

There are moments I’m sure that you’re going to hate me. Especially in your teenage years. You wouldn’t want to wear black, you would want to wear some pastel colors. You wouldn’t want to take Chemistry class, you want to take more of social studies instead. The list would be endless. You might despise those days, but I may want to remember those days forever. Those would be the days that I would really have you as my little girl.

I would let you go during your college years, and you’d be on your own. You’re in your adult life and hence I would no longer tell you what to and what not to do.
Whether you would be single or married or divorced after that, whether you would be working like a mad woman or you’re going to stay at home, whether you make good money or not, I would still be proud of you just as long as you live your life like my biggest expectation : healthy and happy.

I know you’ll grow up into a daddy’s girl, and if your dad wants you to play soccer I know you would.
Guess what? Forget about being a tennis player.
I’d let you do play soccer. I’d let you be a professional soccer player if that’s what you really want to do.

Always yours,

 
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Posted by on July 13, 2010 in Family

 

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